Monday Blog Log: Mental Check-Ins, Mobland, and ...You Guess IT... Mild Obsession with My Future House
- brittanyperry
- Jun 2
- 4 min read
Sunday: The Great Indoors
Sunday was... well, a day spent inside and in my head. Not entirely by choice. There was a bit of a miscommunication between the VA and me—because, of course, why wouldn’t there be—and I missed my medication for the day. Before anyone jumps to conclusions, no, I didn’t just “forget.” It was one of those classic government-run circus acts where you're left wondering if you're the clown or just stuck in the audience. So, with no meds in my system, I woke up already feeling like I was preparing for battle. Defense mode: activated.
Everything—and I mean everything—rubbed me the wrong way. I could feel myself spiraling into a version of me I thought I had outgrown. It’s wild how one day off meds can send your brain into full-fledged WWE wrestling with itself. It was frustrating, emotional, and honestly? Exhausting. But instead of completely shutting down, I tried to lean into productivity… because if you can’t feel good, at least feel useful, right?
So I shifted gears and focused on my internship with Baby Bump Imaging. I knocked out a few important projects: finalized their one-year appreciation post (which is now live—go give it some love), wrapped up “About Me” intros for some of the amazing team members, and collaborated with Emily to create a 60-second video montage of the cutest baby faces you’ll see all week. Yes, I’m biased, but come on. That video is a serotonin shot in digital form. Don’t believe me? Go watch it. I’ll wait.
Entertainment Break: Mobland Mania
When I finally sat down, I decided to give myself a break and started a new show on Paramount+: Mobland. Why did nobody warn me that this show would dig its claws into me within 10 minutes? It’s intense, dramatic, and slightly addictive—kind of like caffeine but with more guns and betrayal. I’m three episodes in and already acting like I belong in the Irish mafia. (Cue dramatic mob boss voice) “Bring me my blanket and snacks, we’re taking down the rivals tonight.”
Monday: When Anxiety Wears a Name Tag
Today started with a mental health appointment at the VA clinic at 9 a.m. Because nothing screams “Monday energy” like opening the day with fluorescent lighting and a medication evaluation. In classic VA fashion, my provider was 20–25 minutes late. I had driven from Norfolk, arrived on time, and was met with… silence. No apology, no explanation. Just vibes.
Naturally, I had a bit of an outburst. Okay, a full-blown shouting match in the hallway. Not my proudest moment, but when you’re trying to manage your mental health and the people responsible for helping you can’t even show up on time, it wears on you. It’s like trying to do therapy in a hurricane—everything feels overwhelming and out of control.
Here’s the thing I didn’t manage to say in the yelling match (because yelling rarely leaves room for nuance): coming to the VA gives me intense anxiety. And sometimes, I feel like I don’t even belong there. There are people in those halls with visible scars, life-altering injuries, and battle wounds you can’t ignore. Meanwhile, I walk in with internal bruises—ones that don’t show up on MRIs or in polite conversation. It makes me feel like I’m exaggerating, like I’m playing dress-up in someone else’s pain.
Hello, imposter syndrome, you persistent little demon.
But I do belong there. I earned that spot just like every other veteran did, and I’m finally starting to accept that healing doesn’t have to look dramatic to be valid. Today’s appointment was actually really important.
We got the results back from my genetic testing, and guess what? The Zoloft I was previously on (pre-psych ward era, for those keeping track) is a big fat NO for my biology. Makes sense, considering how sideways things went on that med.
The good news: Aripiprazole is greenlit for me. We’re switching gears. Fresh start. She also added another medication to help me sleep because—fun fact—I’m still averaging about 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. And no, that’s not cute mysterious insomnia. That’s "I’m running on fumes and coffee grounds" kind of tired.
Unhealthy Obsession Update: My Future House
In other news, I did another drive-by of the house I’m buying. I wish I could say I’m being cool and collected about the whole thing, but let’s be honest—at this point, I’m flirting with a restraining order. I’ve memorized the landscaping, mentally arranged the furniture, and considered naming the mailbox. I might need to chill… but can you blame me? It’s a beautiful home. A fresh start. A peaceful corner of chaos that finally feels like mine.
School Shenanigans: Another Website, Who Dis?
Because I clearly didn’t have enough on my plate, I also started a new project for school that—surprise!—includes building another website. Look, at this point, I could teach a masterclass on Wix. So far, it’s just a skeleton, but I’ve already got ideas bouncing around like kids on a trampoline. It’s focused on a serious topic (2018 VA crisis involving service animals), but you better believe I’m sprinkling in wit and realness where I can. Because healing and humor can coexist—and frankly, they should.
Interactive Corner: Your Turn
Ever argued in a hallway because your mental health appointment became the thing stressing you out? Or maybe you've had imposter syndrome moments when comparing your struggle to someone else’s? Let me know how you cope with it—or drop your current binge-worthy show so I can obsess with you.
Until next time,Your neighborhood overthinker with a keyboard and too many open browser tabs.
Comments