Dating Is Terrifying… But So Is Settling

I went on an amazing date this week.

Don’t get it twisted—I didn’t fall in love.

But I had such a good time that I’m terrified of a second date.

Why?

Why is it so hard to give love a chance?

We don’t treat love like we treat our other goals.

We’ll write down “get fit,” “land the job,” “stack the savings.”

We’ll chase them with discipline, sweat, and grit.But love? Love we approach like a coin toss.

We work hard for money, but it’s easy to give up on love.

And don’t get me wrong—sometimes a situation deserves the towel.

Sometimes walking away is the bravest move you can make.

But when you’re putting yourself back out there, why is it so much harder?

I look at people who go relationship to relationship and part of me screams WHY?

The other part whispers HOW?

How do they risk their heart again and again like it’s no big deal?

How do they trust that the next hand won’t fold the same way the last one did?

And then there’s me—I miss it.

I miss the commitment.

I miss having that special someone you create new jokes with.

That person you tell your secrets to without judgment.

That person who’s there for the good and the bad.

Someone you can count on, right?I mean…isn’t that the goal?

Here’s the kicker though: two years ago you wouldn’t have even caught me on a date. You read that right. TWO YEARS. LOL. I may have entertained someone here and there, but nothing serious. I’ve been divorced for six years now, and let me tell you—I want to invite someone in, I do…but damn if it isn’t hard.

And it’s not unharbored feelings toward my ex.

I’ve dug those up and dealt with them.

This might sound selfish as hell, but I think I deserve to be picky.

Every time I’m about to get to the next level with someone, I feel like I’m settling—so I don’t.

That sounds messed up, right?

It’s not that I think I’m better than anyone…I just believe there’s someone out there who could understand me a little more deeply, and that I could understand the same way in return.

Maybe that’s the thing.

Commitment is scary because it’s the one goal that can’t be achieved by sheer willpower alone. It requires another person. And people, unlike paychecks or gym reps, don’t come with guarantees.

But maybe that’s also what makes it worth it. Because when it works, love doesn’t just check a box—it changes the whole damn list.

32 is approaching, and at some point I am going to give someone a chance. Yet maybe I am still enjoying figuring out the new me. Who knows.